Something people seem to telling me a lot is that i’m living the life, that my life looks so glamorous, that they are so jealous and wish that they were in my position.
It’s not like that. Perhaps, social media may make you think so, but I can assure you that it’s not like that. Everyone can see the trips to beaches, the sightseeing tours, the pictures from clubs with enormous bottles with champagne, but you know what they don’t see?
They don’t see me sitting at my desk scarfing down grapefruit and 35kcal popsicles because I can’t let myself eat anything else. They don’t see me spending an hour and a half on my makeup and choosing an outfit before looking in a mirror and breaking down and proceeding to climb into bed.
It’s awful living with a group of girls that are constantly on various fad diets or taking pills to suppress their appetites, not to mention that in Hong Kong, it seems that everywhere I turn there are a gaggle of girls that are nothing but skin and bones. Yesterday I went to the communal bathroom on the 4th floor of my hostel and saw a girl walk in, heard her purge in the stall, then watched her walk out, wash her face and leave while there was no reaction from any of the other girls in the bathroom. Like that was the norm. I cried.
I’m just struggling a little bit right now and needed to rant. I don’t really know what to do other than keep my head up and keep powering through I guess.